and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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