I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
