I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
