The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
