i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
