I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
