Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
