Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
