The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
