i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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