no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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