Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
