ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
