Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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