What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i think i just lost a toe
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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