i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
