there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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