I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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