I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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