Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
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Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
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he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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