My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
