Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
