I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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