The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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