actually, I'm a sock model
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I looked at my own cervix.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
