i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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