She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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