So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
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If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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