I only kidnapped one of them. chill
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
