I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
