i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just googled if crying burns calories
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
