She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
