I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
