If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
