Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
