i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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