I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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