wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
