no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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