Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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