I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
