I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
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