My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
