have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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