I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
