My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
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My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
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OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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