So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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