he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
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Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
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Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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