I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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