the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
