ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
