yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
