I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
