Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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