You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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