im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
