thus making me awesome and them whores
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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