Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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