I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
