I can text with my tongue
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
