To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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