sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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