i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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