it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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