My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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