I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
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You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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