i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize