Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
