We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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