I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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