haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
